The art of convincing the other: 8 golden rules

1. Convince yourself first before you: you will not convince anyone or anything without first you truly believe what you want. To convince someone you have to convey your reasons, which must be very clear before. Remember that not only transmits a message with the words, your voice, your look and your whole body language spoke quietly and send messages to the other. If you have doubts or fear, or fear you feel less or lose, these messages get your partner, and will be a quiet dressing that makes you hesitate or feel slightly comfortable with your proposal. 

2. Be realistic: Before you propose something, it analyzes the context and see if your proposal is not far out of reality. For example, if you ask for salary increase, as discussed before work and if you're giving enough to the company, or evaluates the quality of your work so you can speak with certainty about this. You can suggest many things provided you have very clear what you give and what you ask. This rule must be mindful of parents and teachers. Often one does not notice that you are asking or requiring more than a child or youth, or trying to behave in ways the perfect or ideal, which eclipses the opportunity to meet young deeper ways. In this case, it is better to propose to children and youth in a friendly manner and taking into account the feelings and values ​​the same, avoid direct or raise him as if an object or a programmable machine. 

3. Do not be afraid to lose: one of the biggest problems is convincing someone that often mixes the fear of losing either a permit, a job, good pay, opportunity, and so on. For this, you must accept the risks involved to propose something, and value and accept the possible endings before you start the proposal. If you have not assessed the possible endings, so when you intend to be fear that the proposal resulting in a refusal have not valued or accepted in advance, and you're tense and hesitant at the time proposed. 

4. All you can lose is the doubt: this is a phrase that can serve so you can take risks more on your reasons and motives. Before suggesting what you want, values ​​the worst that could happen, and find a possible solution in case this happens. For example, if you convince a girl to go with you, appreciates the fact of the refusal, and how they would respond if she refuses. Keep in mind that it is better to risk spending quiet time what you want to propose. It is always better to shut up a negative that you want to talk, because even a negative value that could make new directions. So all you can lose is doubt. 

5. Develops strategic and sincere language: it is very important to consider a language spoken both in body and in proposing something. If you want to convince someone needs to propose several ways to analyze valuing the person to whom you go and context. For example, if you ask a girl out difficult, perhaps be better to say "I really love to hear more" than "Would you like to go out with me?" To find a convincing proof of appropriate language and are several ways to say something, use a mirror can be helpful if the proposal is face to face. Watch the language where you feel comfortable and honest. The rule for verbal language is not convincingly fake sincerity and integrity and feel your word. Do not try to copy shapes to be or talk to anyone, it is always best to be straightforward and honest. For example, if you just want to date a girl for a while but do not want to know more, then maybe you should better get to the point and say "I like to leave you" I love to hear more. So put clear but what I really intend to someone. Also this is very useful to parents: it is not telling a child or young "I'll punish" to reconcile agreements and say "If you do not arrive at such a time then you decide not to go out next time." Avoid authoritarian language, and managing reconciliations and treatment that make them more responsible. 

6. Learn to listen to reasons other: once you animate the proposal, then take into account and give true importance to the reasons for your partner. Do not focus only on what you think or want, because you can get very good deals if you try to listen and accommodate. Learn to give a little, and calmly explain what you want and friendly, especially in work environments. If you feel hopeless when you're proposing something, you'd better tell the other person who may have to ponder over things and try to calm down before you keep trying to convince. Avoid propose when you are angry or desperate. The best thing is that others feel very focused and sure to value your word. 

7. Be courteous and Be detached from the result: do not forget to be polite and not monopolize the word, to convince, it seems to work well to listen more than talk and learn to detach from the outcome but with this in mind, that is, you know what you want but not depend on a person just to make this happen. 

8. Learn to flow: be very clear about what you want in life: wealth, love, recognition, pay rise, and so on. If you do not find a place or person you do not cling, then perhaps you are not seeing some things you need to do to make this happen. In the case of relationships, be clear if you want the person or find love, then maybe you're holding on, for example, a person or business that can not give you what you want. If you feel you can not find what you want elsewhere, then you infatuated in one place or one person, which will keep you very exhausting and stressful situations. A refusal can be a boost to maybe put your sights on something grander and really find what you want. It's all about you learn to flow and you're quite convinced of what you find in life